Choosing the Right Officiant for Your Wedding

For some couples, choosing a wedding officiant is a no-brainer. Maybe you both come from the same church or faith community, and know immediately which priest, preacher, or spiritual leader you’d like to fill the role. Or, maybe you have a personal friend or loved one who is qualified for the job, and there’s no doubt in your mind that he or she should get the gig.

For other couples, though, picking the right officiant isn’t quite so clear-cut. If you don’t have anyone you know personally who can do the job, you may not know where to even begin.

Finding Someone to Conduct Your Ceremony

This person will play a big role in setting the tone for your big day—so it’s worth looking for someone you can truly feel confident in. Some tips:

1.      Find someone who makes you feel at ease. Ultimately, you want someone whose presence will be calming and inspiring to you on your wedding day—so take the time to interview some people, and don’t settle for anyone who you’re not totally comfortable with.

2.      Look within your spiritual family. If you are a religious person, seek someone from within your tradition. Even if it’s a parent’s priest or pastor, having that common faith language can be reassuring.

3.      Remember, you don’t have to pick a religious leader. If you and your fiancée don’t want to have an explicitly religious observance, there’s certainly nothing wrong with hiring a retired judge or a justice of the peace to handle the ceremony for you.

4.      Always clarify your wishes. Want a really short homily? Want there to be a prayer? Want there not to be a prayer? Have a favorite holy text you want read? These are all things you should clarify with your officiant as early as possible, ensuring there is no confusion about what kind of ceremony it’s going to be.

5.      Understand that the officiant has his or her own rules. Simply put, it’s unfair to ask a Catholic priest to perform a Hindu ceremony. Be mindful of the fact that officiants from particular religious backgrounds will likely be bound to that tradition and its religious vocabulary.

Again, clear communication is really the most important part of this. Find someone with whom you feel comfortable talking candidly, and make sure you and your officiant have a shared understanding of your respective ground rules.

To learn more about North Carolina wedding possibilities, reach out to the team at Mosteller Mansion today!